Codename Eagle Chick Logline

Okay, I've gotten a bit of feedback on the logline for Codename Eagle Chick and have revised it to focus on Caleb Gallagher, so here it is:

Caleb Gallagher is the President’s son. He’s also on the run with a Secret Service agent; a college friend who is a recently-tortured CIA recruit who can’t remember the last twenty-four hours; her overly-suave CIA associate; and a lesbian, Irish-coffee loving tech guru who’s their connection with the enigmatic intelligence powerhouse named Luthor. Together, they have to find “the faction” that wants him dead and stop their plans to profit from a potential world war.

I'm trying to get this in time for MSFV's Baker's Dozen submissions on Tuesday.

What do you think? Have I finally got it? 

Return from a long, refreshing hiatus

So you may or may not have noticed that I took a few months off. From the blog, at any rate. I had a job over the summer and decided to get a good academic start to this school year, so I've laid off the blogging portion of my existence and focused on writing, school, and reading. It wasn't altogether unpleasant, either. Just different.

Anyway, I thought I'd pop in and let you know that I'm not, in fact, dead, and that neither is this blog. In fact, I've made a lot of progress on Codename Eagle Chick and am preparing to enter MSFV's Baker's Dozen contest next week! Exciting stuff.

For the contest, I will submit the log line:

When a Secret Service agent tracks down the president’s missing son, he finds him in hiding with a battered CIA recruit, an overly-suave CIA operative, and a lesbian, Irish coffee-loving tech guru who’s their only connection with the enigmatic intelligence powerhouse named Luthor. Together, they have to find “the faction” that wants the president’s son dead and stop their plan to profit from a potential world war with the U.S. and China at its center. (75 words)

I'll also submit the first 250 words:

“Not the best wake up I’ve ever had,” I thought to myself as I fidgeted against the rope binding my hands. And then I remembered a morning in Istanbul that was actually very similar and shook my head. Gavin would be ashamed; my memory was off.

But that had been a four-star hotel room with a very pleasant Turk, whereas now I was in a dim room, naked, standing on tiptoes, and suspended by my wrists from the ceiling above. I stayed still, breathed steadily, ignored the goosebumps that glanced over my skin, and listened. No shoes tapped, no voices sighed, no hands fidgeted: nothing made a sound. I was alone. I let out a sigh of relief and started the process of getting the hell out of there.

My eyes refused to adjust to the blackness. I put my weight on one toe and stretched out my other leg, feeling around for something. Finally, my ankle struck something soft, something that moved. With more tentative examination as I balanced on a sore toe, I found it was a stray swivel chair. It would be tricky for what I had in mind, but I could manage it.

I stretched my body to hook the chair and bring it closer. I winced; my abdomen was sore, injured somehow.

I didn’t remember any of this. Was it a training exercise? I’d heard about intense field exercises, and I’d been through some myself, but this . . . was it torture endurance training, maybe?

Yes, I know, it's 251 words. Shh! Don't tell. Feel free to let me know what you think in the comments. All critique is welcome, as always.

So what's new with you guys? How was your writing summer? Have you also had to make changes recently as regards your lifestyle to make room for writing?

Friday Funstuffs

1. Go to Google Search.
2. Search "answer to life, the universe, and everything"
3. Enjoy the Google staff's humor.

A Random Note on Information Usage

It's really creepy when you take the time and really watch your blog stats/audience with an eagle's eye. I check this blog's stats one minute, and five minutes later I checked again. I had one view, and the numbers on the various data told me that it's a German using a Windows machine running Firefox.

That's the power of tracking data.

It's really useful, say, once you're published and actually looking at what your potential market, but still . . .

Scared yet?

And the Eagle is Flying!

I'm late to start Camp Nanowrimo (eight days late, to be precise) so I've got a lot of words to make up, but I'm happy to report that by the end of Day Nine, my first day of writing, I've ended up with a starting word count of . . .

[insert drumroll]

5,500 words!

[And the crowd goes wild . . . not. A girl can dream, eh?]

Still a long way to go, of course, but definitely not a shabby start, either.

Are you doing Camp Nanowrimo? If so, how behind/on target/ahead are you?

***EDIT: For those of you who don't know about (Camp) Nanowrimo, you can check out the websites for more info: Camp Nanowrimo & Nanowrimo.

***

I also changed the blog layout to something a bit more festive--what do you think?

Dark Days Ahead . . . or Behind, Actually

I haven't updated the blog in a while. Mainly because I've been nervous about the prospect of waiting on the not-so-happily trigger-fingered agents to get back to me, but also because there hasn't been much going on in my life, other than summer university courses (Social Psych and American Geology--oh joy!).

Last night, however, that changed. I went to the Dark Days Tour stop in Columbus on Thursday, June 7th, and got a signed copy of Veronica Roth's Insurgent! While there, I also met, had pictures taken with, and got signatures from: Bethany Griffin, Aprilynne Pike, and Elizabeth Norris. Also, Rae Carson just happened to be there, so I got a signature from her, as well.

Double Veronica, Double the Fun: Veronica Roth and Me.

Me with Bethany Griffin, author of Masque of the Red Death, a re-imagining of Poe's classic short story.

Aprilynne Pike and Me.

And last but not least, Me with Liz Norris, author of Unraveling.

(All photos courtesy of my friend, Brian Bowers.)

In other news, all the waiting and not-writing of the querying process has gotten on my nerves to the point that I've started a new book! It's tentatively titled Codename Eagle Chick, and I'll have a pitch, synopsis, etc. out on it soon! I'm also participating in Camp Nanowrimo's June session, so drop me a line if you want to be writing buddies!

Friday Funstuffs

Without commentary, I leave you with this nerdtastic gem of a YouTube video:

Query Update #2

Good news: The intern at The Bent Agency requested that I send the first ten pages after I sent my query letter--good thing, too; I was starting to think it was broken or just not working!

I'll let you know how it pans out.

Below is my score card of sorts to keep you up to date on my progress:

All agents were queried on Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Rejections:

• Andrea Somberg of Harvey Klinger, Inc, sent Query & first five: No, personalized rejection
• Elaine Spencer of The Knight Agency, sent Query: No, form rejection
• Suzie Townsend of Nancy Coffey Literary Agency, sent Query & first five: No, form rejection

Interest:

• Jenny Bent of The Bent Agency, sent Query: Request for first ten pages

No response:

• Vickie Motter of Andrea Hurst Literary Agency, sent Query & first 100 (as result of winning MSFV's Secret Agent Contest)
• Kristin Nelson of Nelson Literary Agency, sent Query
• Jodi Reamer (via assistant Alec Shane) of Writers House, sent Query & first ten
• Josh Getzler of HSG Literary, sent Query and first five
• Louise Fury of L. Perkins Agency, sent Query and first five

Friday Funstuffs

1. Go to Google Maps.
2. Point A: Enter "The Shire"
3. Point B: Enter "Mordor"
4. Select walking directions. 
5. Laugh.

Querying Update

Okay, so I updated in yesterday's post that Suzie Townsend of Harvey Klinger, Inc., sent back a form rejection. Just recently, however, I got another e-mail, this time from Andrea Somberg. The bad news? Still a rejection. The good news? It wasn't a form rejection, and it gave me a bit to work with:

Dear Veronica:

Thanks for sending along the pages of your manuscript, A Love to Kill for. Truth be told, though, I'm afraid these pages just didn't draw me in as much as I had hoped. I'm pressed for time these days and, what with my reservations about the project, I suspect I wouldn't be the best fit. Thanks so much for contacting me and for giving me this opportunity. It's much appreciated, and I'm sorry to be passing. I wish you the very best of luck in your search for representation.

Best,

Andrea 

Yeah, yeah, I hear you--there's not much to find by way of advice. But what it does tell me: the first five pages I sent her don't have enough voice. Or better yet, I toned down my voice in lieu of an edgy beginning, which was a mistake.

And this, kids, is exactly why you never send your queries out at once! It's a learning process. If, in the future I've fixed the problems and still don't have an agent, I may requery her; I really appreciate her candor and willingness to give me a bit of help. But by querying gradually, I'll learn from my mistakes, improve my submission quality, and find the agent who's right for me.

Each rejection just means you've got one rejection less until you make it!

And so it begins . . .

I took the plunge and sent out my first round of queries today to:

1. Kristin Nelson,
2. Jodi Reamer (via her assistant, Alec Shane),
3. Andrea Somberg,
4. Elaine Spencer,
5. Jenny Bent,
6. Suzie Townsend,
7. Josh Getzler, and
8. Louise Fury,

in addition to the 100 pages I sent to Vickie Motter for the MSFV Secret Agent Contest. *squee*

I feel like my query letter is really strong, and my sample pages are very polished. But, once the mechanics of the thing are taken care of, there's this dread fear of Oh my god, what if they hate the very basis of my story? I can't fix that, so what then?! 

Querying is nerve-wracking; you spend months and years of your life perfecting an idea that you had a vague inkling of at the beginning, and what happens if, after all that effort, time, and life spent on the creation of that idea, it turns out to be stupid and worthless? O_o

I don't think A Love to Kill For is like that, of course, but there's still this niggling in the back of my mind wondering what the agent will think. I guess the replies will tell.

Until then, I'm going to freak out, eat chocolate, and cry myself to sleep. What's your coping mechanism for querying?

UPDATE: Well, that was quick. Less than two hours after sending out a query and five pages, Suzie Townsend of Nancy Coffey Literary Agency sent back a rejection. Woohoo, my first rejection! *bites nails* *remembers she doesn't bite her nails* *goes back to her chocolate*

Secret Agent Contest: A Follow-Up

The results are in, and on MSFV, the May Secret Agent revealed as Vickie Motter chose A Love To Kill For as a runner-up! She's requested the first 100 pages!

I didn't even try to restrain myself from doing a little victory dance. Not even a little.

I'll let you know how it shakes out; wish me luck!

Query Quibbles

Over and over I have revised this query letter. As such, I think it's the quintessential query for A Love To Kill For.


#

Dear [Agent],

A young woman must kill a fellow college student on behalf of a mob family in order to save her father’s life.

Several years prior to the narrative, Alex O’Connor’s father wrote an inflammatory article about one of the New York crime families, and the Martellos kidnapped him for it. Since then, Alex has been “working off her father’s debt”—she’s an assassin. Every kill keeps her father alive. Every kill works toward his freedom.

Alex isn’t a thug—she doesn’t enjoy killing for the sake of violence. Her only comfort in the job is that it’s quick. Get the job, recon the mark, make the kill, dispose of evidence—and then get back to college before anyone notices she’s been gone. Oh yeah, she’s a student at NYU, too.

But that simplicity is gone. The Martello family has a plot to take over the business of a rival family, the Corellis. When Alex is given her next manila folder, she expects it to be another fast job, but it’s not. She’s to befriend the mark and kill him only when other hit men are in position to dispose of other members of the Corelli family simultaneously. Her hit? A fellow student at NYU, Mick Corelli. As if that didn’t break her “code” into enough tiny pieces, throughout the process of befriending him under the guise of being his math tutor, Mick finds her out, and steals her heart, as well.

When the Martellos finally send the kill order, can she actually go through with it? Can she really kill Mick? And if she can’t, what does that mean for her father?

What has been described by my crit group as a mix of Darkly Dreaming Dexter, Romeo and Juliet, and The Godfather all in one, A LOVE TO KILL FOR is a YA novel, complete at 57,000 words.

A Creative Writing major from Ohio Wesleyan University, I’ve studied under Robert Olmstead, and I have also taken workshops with Linnea Sinclair and bestselling YA author Cinda Williams Chima. When not writing, I seek inspiration from scuba diving, friends, television, reading, tea, and cats (not necessarily in that order).

Thank you for your time and interest, and I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Veronica Duff

[Phone # redacted]

[E-mail redacted]

[Address redacted]

http://veronicaduff.tumblr.com

http://twitter.com/VeronicaADuff

#

Any thoughts or suggestions?

Secret Agent Feedback

I'm excited; the Secret Agent over at MissSnarksFirstVictim commented on my first 250 words. Pasted word-for-word, here it is:

Good beginning. You give us just enough but have restrained from explaining everything right off the bat. I like Alex, she's tough but fallible. Maybe rethink your genre--it is technically contemporary but can also be described as espionage, suspense, thriller, depending on the story. It's hard to tell without seeing the query. But it sounds very Ally Carter's Heist Society.I'm hooked enough to keep reading.

I knew the YA Contemporary was a bit iffy, but I've always heard that if a genre's wrong, as long as the agent likes the writing, they'll overlook mistakes like that. The agent likes my MC, which is exciting, and the fact that s/he compared the feel of my story to that of Ally Carter's Heist Society is fun since I'm an Ally Carter fan; my ego is taking it as a huge compliment, Lol.

And, last but not least, the agent is "hooked enough to keep reading." Guess who's doing lots more revisions now just in case s/he requests more stuff!

About Me and an Introduction to my Manuscript

Hello all (or one; any audience is a fantastic audience).

A bit about myself:

My name is Veronica Duff, and I'm currently a college student in the Midwest majoring in English with a focus in Creative Writing. I write mostly YA stuff, some Contemporary, some Fantasy, and I have ideas for SF and Children's Fantasy. But ideas don't matter--my completed YA Contemporary, A Love to Kill For, does!

I also have a tumblr, and that's what I use most often, so if this seems a bit dead, it's probably because I'm over there. But I'm going to give blogger a chance to wow me. :-) Random factoids:

1. I love banana-flavored stuff but hate bananas. 
2. I am in love with the BBC's adaptation of Sherlock (which just premiered on PBS last night, if I'm not mistaken.) 
3. I am a very lazy student. 
4. I dressed up as Katniss for the midnight showing of The Hunger Games, and I didn't buy anything; everything I needed was already in my closet. 
5. And lastly, I wish it was June so that I could turn over my Doctor Who calendar to a month with River Song in it.

Here was my entry:

May Secret Agent #24

TITLE: A Love To Kill For

GENRE: YA Contemporary

Alex knocked four times, and a viewfinder slid open. “Someone ordered a Bloody Mary?” she said, her passphrase to get in. The viewfinder shut, a bolt was drawn back, and the door opened inward.

Habitually, she went upstairs to Adriano’s office. Donny, a broad, muscular type with dark hair and a tan, greeted her in the waiting area with a wide smile, gesturing for her to take a seat on the leather sofa. Her hand relaxed from hovering over the knife hidden at her hip; she never went anywhere without it. After taking a seat, Donny did the same, uncomfortably close to her.

“How’s college?” he asked, being friendly. She often wondered whether Donny had a thing for her.

Don’t mix business with civilian life, don’t mix business with civilian life, don’t mix . . . “Fine. And business?”

“Good. I’ll be seeing your old man in a week.” Alex’s heart leaped. She had a hard time pretending not to care when her father was mentioned.

“That so? Just on business or vacation?”

“A bit of both, but you know I can’t tell you more than that.”

“Of course.” His eyes floated to the “Trophy Wall” where obituaries of the Martello’s enemies were displayed. Most prominent was the yellowed newspaper clipping of the exposé Brian O’Connor, Jr., had written on the Martello family. Alex looked away from it. She often read the article, cried over it, considered how different her life would be if her father had never written the stupid thing.

* * *

So what do you think?